{"id":2811,"date":"2021-11-24T12:23:14","date_gmt":"2021-11-24T12:23:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/?post_type=menopauselibrary&p=2811"},"modified":"2024-08-28T13:51:46","modified_gmt":"2024-08-28T12:51:46","slug":"my-story-why-cant-anyone-help-me","status":"publish","type":"menopauselibrary","link":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/menopause-library\/my-story-why-cant-anyone-help-me\/","title":{"rendered":"My story: Why can\u2019t anyone help me?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Monica has lived in Perth, Australia, for 27 years and loved her job as a clinical nurse specialist in Emergency and Intensive Care departments. In her mid-40s she experienced most of the classic signs she was starting perimenopause and she realised what was happening to her. Little did she know this marked the start of an ongoing battle to get the right diagnosis and treatment in order to feel better and carry on living a normal life. It has been six years and counting and she\u2019s not quite there yet.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt didn\u2019t take me long to realise I was entering perimenopause. As well as my periods going haywire, I started getting terrible fatigue, and hot flushes. I hadn\u2019t realised this was probably also why I was getting more tearful in the run up to my periods, my memory was getting worse, and I started to worry I was going completely mad. Having recently split up with my husband, I was getting used to being a single mum and I put these symptoms down to life changes, stress and having a busy job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI went to see my GP, who decided the medication I had taken for 28 years for anxiety \u2013 which had always been well controlled \u2013 was now not working and he switched me, overnight, to a different tablet. Of course this didn\u2019t suit me, and within a few weeks I became so unwell with anxiety I could barely leave the house. I was off work for 8 weeks while the doctors tried to tweak the medication further. In the meantime, I was now having horrendous sweats, worsening anxiety, and sore joints which was all put down to \u2018depression\u2019 (which I have never had) and my stressful job (which I hadn\u2019t been able to do!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI eventually saw a wonderful psychiatrist who told me very simply that it\u2019s all down to the menopause and I needed HRT. Wouldn\u2019t it be lovely if that was the end of my story?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUnfortunately, my GP disagreed with the psychiatrist\u2019s opinion and refused to prescribe HRT for me. I did eventually manage to see a female doctor in the practice who was willing to start me on a very small dose of an estrogen tablet and gave me the Mirena coil. And then followed months and even years of more and more symptoms, and ongoing barriers to getting the help I so desperately needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAfter a hospital admission because of heavy vaginal bleeding, I thought I would finally get somewhere. I was transferred to what I thought was a women\u2019s hospital, only to discover when I got there that I had been moved to a psychiatric hospital. This terrified me, I saw so many women my age in there, and I couldn\u2019t help but wonder, \u2018how many of them were there primarily because of their hormones changing?\u2019 I had all my meds stopped, and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was desperately trying to do my own research and eventually left the ward after three days when I refused to go on yet more antipsychotic medication for my (non-existent) psychiatric condition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs the years passed, I read so much about the menopause and HRT, and I was regularly in contact with menopause experts from the UK who were so kind and supportive to me, but couldn\u2019t offer me any HRT because I lived in Australia. And COVID meant I couldn\u2019t travel to the UK to be seen as a patient there. I was desperate. Any time I went back to my GP with another symptom, I kept getting referred to cardiologists, endocrinologists and so-called menopause specialists that just wanted to give me unregulated, compounded HRT and I collected quite an array of other \u2018diagnoses\u2019. I hadn\u2019t been able to work for years now due to crushing fatigue and uncontrolled anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI spent thousands of dollars trying to see the next specialist I always hoped would solve it once and for all.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI quoted the UK\u2019s NICE guidelines, only to be told they follow Australia\u2019s guidelines which don\u2019t say the same thing! I knew I needed a higher dose and\/or a different type of estrogen to feel better, but all I was told was \u201cnobody ever needs that much HRT\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn the end I have managed to get hold of prescriptions for estrogen gel and testosterone, and I am learning how to manage my symptoms as best as I can. My physical symptoms have mostly improved, my skin and hair are better, and I\u2019ve lost weight and enjoy socialising and exercising again. But I am still getting sudden bouts of extreme fatigue which have happened when I\u2019m driving so unfortunately, they won\u2019t let me drive again until I have been cleared by a neurologist, who can\u2019t see me for another 3 months! This means I still can\u2019t work. The financial toll has been huge, and I lost my house recently. The anxiety still rears its head for about 1 week in 4, and I worry that I won\u2019t ever get completely better. The psychological impact is definitely the worst part, along with the effect this has had on my grown-up children, who just want to see a return of their old mum. My life has been on hold, and I have lost all my independence. My saving grace is my new partner who is so supportive and encouraging and has tried to learn and understand about the menopause as best he can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Headshot<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Images showing the difference in Monica’s good and bad days<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy aim now is for my HRT treatment to further help my fatigue and manage the anxiety, so I can drive and get back to work. This will help me feel myself again and give my confidence a much-needed boost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I do get back to work, I am going to be so much more understanding towards the female patients I see who have anxiety, depression, or come in with any other symptoms that could be down to their hormones, and I\u2019m going to remind and encourage all my colleagues not to neglect this important aspect of a woman\u2019s health.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI did come across one or two fantastic healthcare professionals that understood the impact the menopause could have but their voice was always shot down by louder voices and this is why so much more needs to be done in Australia to raise awareness and train doctors and nurses. I have seen pamphlets in hospital rooms and GP practices on every subject under the sun \u2013 but never one on the menopause. This has got to change.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr Louise Newson\u2019s online menopause education programme, \u2018Confidence in the Menopause\u2019 is free for all healthcare professionals across the globe and can be accessed via <\/em>www.fourteenfish.com\/menopause<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would you like to share your experience of perimenopause or menopause? Write to us at shareyourstory@balance-app.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Monica has lived in Perth, Australia, for 27 years and loved her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":1163,"template":"","subject":[103,26,16,65],"content-type":[6],"library-format":[19],"library-author":[],"class_list":["post-2811","menopauselibrary","type-menopauselibrary","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","subject-gp-visits","subject-hrt","subject-mental_health","subject-patient-stories","content-type-article","library-format-read"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/menopauselibrary\/2811","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/menopauselibrary"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/menopauselibrary"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1163"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"subject","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/subject?post=2811"},{"taxonomy":"content-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/content-type?post=2811"},{"taxonomy":"library-format","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/library-format?post=2811"},{"taxonomy":"library-author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/library-author?post=2811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}