This anonymous, first-person account lays bare the real impact of hormones can have on mental health, and the importance of getting individualised support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Advisory: this account contains themes of suicide and mental health.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I clearly experienced post-natal depression following the birth of my fourth child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I eventually plucked up the courage to visit my GP but was made to feel I was wasting her time. She just told me to pull myself together. However, I do completely understand that it must be difficult for a doctor to identify who is depressed in comparison to someone who is just having a bad day. I possibly thought she was right but remained feeling desperate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I then went on to carry out my first suicide attempt. I walked out of the house and made my way to the train station. I didn\u2019t think about my family, my mind was blank, I just wanted to die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Luckily, my husband realised something was wrong and came to find me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The next day he took me back to the GP and I was referred to a psychiatrist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Looking back, I was extremely fortunate that by going privately I could get an appointment to see a psychiatrist quickly. If I hadn\u2019t been able to, I\u2019m not sure what would have happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My psychiatrist has been incredible: he has the most amazing ability to understand what it is like to feel like that. He\u2019s also given up a lot of time to talk to my husband which has been incredibly useful and something I do feel is vital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018That was 16 years ago, and over the years since I have struggled with medication and treatments with terrible debilitating side effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018After a long time trying different medications, my psychiatrist felt I was suffering with medication resistant depression. He also arranged for me to see several other psychiatrists who he had talked about me: the most unhelpful one told me that I was more likely to die from alcohol than depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I remember asking if there was any possible link with hormones and depression. It was very obvious during a month I was having two good weeks and then two bad when I just couldn\u2019t function.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ve been extraordinarily lucky to have a very caring husband who has looked after me for many years through the ups and downs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I remember waking in the night a few years ago pleading him to take me to Dignitas to save my children the distress of suicide. I truly didn\u2019t want them to see me like that and really felt that they would be better off without me. For many years I just wanted to die. I loved my children and cared for them day and night but inside I was numb. I had given up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018As I approached my late forties I deteriorated further, and a friend urged me to contact Dr Newson\u2019s clinic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Soon after taking HRT I began to slowly feel better and notice the benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I have now have more energy to do things compared to my life before when I felt like I was walking through treacle. I\u2019m joining in more activities with friends, I\u2019m feeling more confident, my head feels clearer and most of all I can really enjoy life. The list goes on. HRT has literally been life-changing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I can now enjoy a normal life with my wonderful husband and my gorgeous children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Seeing a health professional privately isn\u2019t an option for many, many women: Women who can\u2019t afford to, the women who are sadly too sick to ask for help and many more for different reasons and different circumstances. I feel terribly guilty that I\u2019ve had the opportunity to do so when others may not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I believe there would be many benefits to psychiatrists and healthcare professionals, with knowledge of the menopause, working together to share their knowledge and experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I can obviously only speak for myself, but I\u2019m sure my life may have been very different if there had been communication and more services available where the two are combined. From my own experience it does seem to me that they work in silos and working together may prevent a lot of suffering for women and their families.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n Contact the Samaritans<\/a> for 24-hour, confidential support by calling 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n