{"id":5866,"date":"2023-04-06T01:52:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-06T00:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/?post_type=menopauselibrary&p=5866"},"modified":"2024-08-28T13:15:15","modified_gmt":"2024-08-28T12:15:15","slug":"my-story-menopause-in-recovery","status":"publish","type":"menopauselibrary","link":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/menopause-library\/my-story-menopause-in-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"My story: menopause in recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

An anonymous account of coping with menopause while in alcohol recovery<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018<\/strong>From the age of 13, I struggled with the usual awkwardness that comes with being a teenager, but it was also accompanied by troubling moods, feelings of isolation and anxiety, particularly around the time of my period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I started drinking and partying in my teens which helped to create an illusion of self-confidence and ease \u2013 a welcome anaesthetic for all the angst and discomfort I felt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018But over time, my reliance on alcohol started to negatively impact my relationships, family and college studies, particularly my emotional and mental health. Instead of the numbing effect I originally sought, my escalating drinking caused my anxiety to worsen, spiralling into panic attacks and the need for more alcohol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

RELATED: Alcohol and the menopause<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Simultaneously, my periods worsened with intense migraines, acne and extreme mood swings \u2013 and I continued to find solace in alcohol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I spent many years chasing the elusive effect alcohol had first given me and then a good few more trying to control the amount I drank, finally realising I wasn\u2019t able to stop using my own will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The turning point<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Fortunately, I followed a suggestion from a like-minded soul entered into a 12-step programme. In that wonderful welcoming place, I was able to find, not only, a way to stop drinking but a connection to a group of people who showed me a new way to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018That was 23 years ago, and I am still sober today. Throughout my early sobriety my hormones and menstrual cycle were still causing severe mood swings around ovulation and debilitating migraines before and after my periods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018At 35, with five years sobriety, happy and married, I had my first child but immediately after the birth I developed severe anxiety and depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Consumed by the irrational fear that my baby would be taken from me, I didn\u2019t tell a soul; not my friends, my husband, the doctor or health visitor, pushing through each day without help. I was still in a 12-step programme but I began to isolate, justifying to myself and those around me that I had a new baby who needed me at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How hormonal changes affected my life<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I threw myself into motherhood and work, putting everything else before my programme, causing my mental, emotional and physical health to deteriorate further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

RELATED: Living well through your perimenopause and menopause booklet<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I was still sober but I was stuck in a cycle of anxiety, low mood, fatigue, regular migraines and irritability lasting for the next decade. In 2016, and at 16 years sober, my wonderful grandmother died and within two days of her passing I developed a deafening ringing in my ears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018The next few nights I sat up, wide awake in bed, stricken with intense anxiety, unable to close my eyes, concentrating on the noise ringing in my ears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I was 46 years old, and I was terrified. I sank into a depression I\u2019d never experienced before: unable to get out of bed or move my body, I was paralysed by desperate repetitive thoughts. I couldn\u2019t look after my children or communicate with my family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I had isolated myself from my friends, and my family were worried. I began to think everyone would be better off without me. Then something magical happened which I will always be grateful for: a 12-step friend called and offered her help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Again, I followed the suggestion and reconnected with my programme and I began to change. I started to get better. I was functioning again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The start of my perimenopause<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I was able to look after my family, help others and be part of the world, but I was still struggling with terrible migraines, tinnitus, fatigue, crippling body aches, irregular heavy periods, acne, itchy skin, sinusitis, skin allergies, digestive problems and most worryingly, the anxiety and repetitive negative thoughts were increasing again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

RELATED: Heavy periods during the perimenopause: what you need to know<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I was confused because I had worked really hard on my 12-step programme, I couldn\u2019t understand why I felt so unwell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listening to me, a friend simply replied: \u201cIt\u2019s perimenopause!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018No, I thought to myself, menopausal symptoms started in your 50s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I had been totally misinformed. It all started to make sense. That was seven years ago when there wasn\u2019t good information about menopause in the public domain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I unfortunately didn\u2019t find the help I needed at my GP surgery, so I searched out a menopause specialist and was diagnosed with perimenopause and, something I\u2019d never heard of, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) a very severe form of premenstrual syndrome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

RELATED: Premenstrual syndrome and menopause<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

PMDD diagnosis<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Everything fell into place. I\u2019d been at the mercy of hormone fluctuations for 40 years creating monthly bodily and mental upheavals \u2013 and by adding alcohol into the mix during my younger years, I had created a toxic cocktail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I chose to go on HRT at 48 years old. After some tweaking of the dosages and introducing some lifestyle changes including yoga, exercise, nutrition, therapy and plugging right back into my 12 step programme, my symptoms subsided and are now mostly in remission \u2013 those that remain are very mild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the 1980s when I\u2019d first been to my GP, I was told my mood swings and headaches were normal and would improve once I had children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Post-menopause: a more positive future<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Sadly that wasn\u2019t the case and luckily today there is more accessible information about hormone health out there. I am now 54, post-menopausal and the healthiest I\u2019ve probably ever been. I have the gift of stable hormones, peace of mind and contentment (most of the time!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Most importantly, I had to reconnect with my 12-step programme and seek out the help I needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By not asking for help earlier, I created fertile soil for my illness to grow. Thankfully I didn\u2019t pick up a drink. I would never have got well without the people who took the time to support me, therefore I now spend a good deal of time sharing my story with women, particularly those recovering from addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are struggling, ask for help. Share your experience. Talk about it. Please don\u2019t suffer in silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018There is help – there is always a solution.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would you like to share your experience of perimenopause or menopause? Write to us at shareyourstory@balance-app.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An anonymous account of coping with menopause while in alcohol recovery \u2018From […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":1169,"template":"","subject":[150,26,65,100,25],"content-type":[],"library-format":[],"library-author":[],"class_list":["post-5866","menopauselibrary","type-menopauselibrary","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","subject-alcohol","subject-hrt","subject-patient-stories","subject-premenstrual-syndrome","subject-wellbeing"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/menopauselibrary\/5866","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/menopauselibrary"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/menopauselibrary"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"subject","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/subject?post=5866"},{"taxonomy":"content-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/content-type?post=5866"},{"taxonomy":"library-format","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/library-format?post=5866"},{"taxonomy":"library-author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.balance-menopause.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/library-author?post=5866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}